Chapter 8: Adding Emotion and Human Interest

Chapter 8: The News Writing Style — CampusJourn

A Filipino student carefully reading and editing a news article draft at a desk, checking for style and clarity

📖 Introduction

Last Chapter, You Wrote the Headline. Now Make Every Sentence Sound Like News.

Last chapter, you built a headline. Short, direct, strong verb, no bias.

Now those same principles apply to every single sentence in your article.

Here's something interesting. You can recognize a news report without even looking at the headline.

The sentences sound different. The words feel chosen carefully. There's no extra emotion, no opinions slipped in, no guessing required.

That's the news writing style at work.

Some rules in this chapter you've already seen. They're back because this is where everything comes together — into one consistent voice that runs from your headline all the way to your tail.

And three of these rules are brand new. Pay close attention to those.

📋 Seven Rules

The Seven Rules of the News Writing Style

Focus on the Facts

News reports facts. Not feelings. Not opinions. Not guesses. Before writing any sentence, ask: Can I prove this? Or is this just what I think?

❌ Opinion words"The dedicated and inspiring teacher announced her retirement."

✅ Facts only"The teacher announced her retirement."

Dedicated and inspiring are judgments — how you see the teacher. That's not your job. Report what happened. Let readers decide how to feel.

Use Simple Language

News is for everyone — not just experts. If a Grade 4 student would need a dictionary for your sentence, rewrite it.

❌ Science journal language"The meteorological phenomenon caused significant hydrological disturbances."

✅ Newspaper language"The heavy rain caused major flooding."

Same event. One sentence is for a science journal. The other is for a newspaper. Always choose the newspaper version.

Write Short Sentences

Long sentences hide information. Short sentences deliver it. One idea per sentence. Most sentences under 15 words. When in doubt — cut.

❌ 32 words"The principal, after a series of consultations with teachers, students, and parents over several weeks, decided that the best course of action would be to implement a new policy."

✅ 11 words"The principal announced a new school policy after several weeks of consultations."

Use Active Voice

In active voice, the subject does the action. It applies to every sentence — not just headlines. Active is shorter, clearer, and more direct.

❌ Passive"The award was given to Zion by the principal."

✅ Active"The principal gave Zion the award."

Stay Objective — Present All Sides NEW

Objectivity means reporting facts without taking sides, showing favoritism, or letting your personal views into the story.

The test is simple: after reading your article, can a reader tell which side you are on? If yes — your writing isn't objective yet. If the story involves two groups or two views — include both.

❌ Biased — one side only"Students were outraged by the unfair new grading system."

✅ Objective — both sides"Some students expressed concern about the new grading system, while teachers said it was designed to better measure learning."

Watch Your Word Choices NEW

Every word carries two things: its dictionary meaning and its connotation — the hidden feeling or judgment it carries. Some words seem neutral but actually imply guilt, doubt, or dishonesty.

❌ Loaded word"The principal admitted the canteen prices had increased." — implies hiding something

✅ Neutral word"The principal confirmed the canteen prices had increased." — just states the fact

Avoid	Use Instead	Why
admitted	said, confirmed, acknowledged	Implies guilt
claimed	said, stated, according to	Implies doubt or dishonesty
refused to comment	did not respond to requests for comment	Implies hiding something
failed	did not pass, was not selected	Judgment, not just a fact
insisted	said, maintained	Implies stubbornness

Also check for double meanings — words that can be read two different ways even in body sentences (not just headlines).

❌ Double meaning"The teacher hit a new record in the reading program." — hit could mean achieved or struck

✅ Specific verb"The teacher set a new record in the reading program."

Use Gender-Fair Language NEW

Gender-fair language means using words that include everyone, regardless of gender. Don't use he or his when talking about a person whose gender you don't know. Use they / their instead.

❌ Assumes male"A good journalist always checks his sources."

✅ Includes everyone"A good journalist always checks their sources."

Old Term	Gender-Fair Term
chairman	chairperson
fireman	firefighter
policeman	police officer
mailman	mail carrier
stewardess	flight attendant
he / his (unknown person)	they / their
mankind	people, humanity

Remember: if you know someone's gender — use it. Gender-fair language doesn't mean avoiding all pronouns. It means not assuming when you don't know.

Filipino elementary students in a classroom working on news writing exercises, comparing sentences on their worksheets

✏️ Quick Check

Fill in the Blank: Fix the Sentence

Each sentence below breaks one of the seven rules. The rule number is given as a hint. Type your fix in the box, then click Show Answer to check.

Fix 1

"The brave firefighter heroically rescued a student from the flood."

Hint — Rule 1: Remove the opinion words and report what happened.

"The firefighter ________ a student from the flood."

✅ Sample Answer"The firefighter rescued a student from the flood." — Drop "brave" and "heroically." They're opinions. Just state the fact.

Fix 2

"The award was received by Hanna at the ceremony last Friday."

Hint — Rule 4: Make the subject do the action.

"________ received the award at the ceremony last Friday."

✅ Sample Answer"Hanna received the award at the ceremony last Friday." — Put the subject (Hanna) first. Active voice always leads with the doer.

Fix 3

"The principal admitted that new books had not arrived yet."

Hint — Rule 6: Replace the loaded word with a neutral one.

"The principal ________ that new books had not arrived yet."

✅ Sample Answer"The principal confirmed / said / acknowledged that new books had not arrived yet." — "Admitted" implies guilt. None of those neutral words do.

Fix 4

"Every student should bring his permission slip tomorrow."

Hint — Rule 7: Use gender-fair language.

"Every student should bring ________ permission slip tomorrow."

✅ Sample Answer"Every student should bring their permission slip tomorrow." — Not all students are male. "Their" includes everyone.

✏️ Practice Time

Choose the correctly written version, then rewrite a broken paragraph.

Before and After Identify which rule is broken, then tap the correct rewrite.

📋 Read the "Before" sentence. Tap which rule it breaks, then tap the correct "After" version (A or B). Click Reveal Answer to check.

Sentences checked:

Before & After 1

BEFORE (BROKEN):"The dedicated principal bravely stood up for the students."

🔍

Option A"The principal announced she would appeal the decision on behalf of the students."

Option B"The dedicated and courageous principal bravely stood up for her beloved students."

Before & After 2

BEFORE (BROKEN):"The new rule was announced by the school administration last Monday."

🔍

Option A"A new rule announcement was made by the school administration on Monday."

Option B"The school administration announced a new rule last Monday."

Before & After 3

BEFORE (BROKEN):"Every journalist must know how to protect his sources."

🔍

Option A"Every journalist must know how to protect their sources."

Option B"Every journalist, whether he or she is experienced, must know how to protect his or her sources."

Before & After 4

BEFORE (BROKEN):"The student claimed she had studied for three months for the competition."

🔍

Option A"The student insisted she had studied for three months, which she repeatedly emphasized."

Option B"The student said she had studied for three months for the competition."

Writing Practice — Rewrite the Paragraph Find the five problems, then rewrite the paragraph using the scaffold.

📝 The paragraph below breaks at least five of the seven rules. Study the error table, then rewrite it using the scaffold below.

📎 Sample Answer (to guide you)

✅ Sample Rewrite

"A teacher from Maliwanag Elementary received the Teacher of the Year award from the school administration last Friday. The teacher said the recognition motivated them to keep working hard for their students. A typhoon forced their school to cancel classes for two days last week."

Original Paragraph — Broken "The heroic and dedicated teacher, who has devoted his whole life to his students, was given the Teacher of the Year award by the school last Friday. He claimed the award was long overdue. The meteorological phenomenon that struck the region last week caused his school to cancel academic activities for two days."

The Problems

#	What's Wrong	Which Rule
1	"Heroic and dedicated"	Rule 1 — opinion words
2	"his whole life to his students"	Rule 7 — assumes teacher is male
3	"was given…by the school"	Rule 4 — passive voice
4	"claimed"	Rule 6 — loaded word
5	"meteorological phenomenon"	Rule 2 — complex language
6	"his school" (second mention)	Rule 7 — gender assumption again

Rewrite Scaffold

"[Teacher's description — no opinions] received the Teacher of the Year award from [who gave it] last Friday. The teacher [neutral verb] the recognition [what they said]. [Simple word for weather event] forced [their] school to cancel [what] for [how long]."

Your Rewrite:

🔍 Self-Check Guide

What to Check	Done ✅	Try Again 🔄
I removed opinion words	☐	☐
I used active voice	☐	☐
I used simple language	☐	☐
I replaced loaded words with neutral ones	☐	☐
I used gender-fair language	☐	☐
My rewrite is shorter than the original	☐	☐

📊 Simple Rubric

6/6

Your writing sounds like real news. 🗞️

4–5

Almost there. Review the checks you missed.

1–3

Reread the seven rules and try the rewrite one sentence at a time.

Answers will differ for each student. Use the rubric or ask your teacher for help.

🧠 Spot the Fake

Each pair has one correct sentence and one that breaks a rule. Tap the FAKE — the one that doesn't belong in a real news article.

0/5

Score

Pair 1 of 5

PAIR 1 OF 5

Tap the sentence that BREAKS a rule:

out of 5

Up Next

Chapter 9: Editing Your News Article

Your writing is clear, simple, objective, active, and fair. But before your article reaches any reader, it needs one final pass — a complete checklist before you publish.

Chapter 9 →

The News Writing Style